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The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.

Alexandria Penney

Saturday, February 28, 2009

When you 1st get a woman's number, should one leave a voice message if she doesn't pick up?

So.... it is the end of the night and the liquor has completely consumed your emotions, you are feeling bold, confident, and care free! Now is the time to make your move; after careful consideration, and evaluation one finds the one that captures their attention. You walk up to her, start to chit chat and next thing you know you have gotten her number, but you are only half way through the battle. The next day you are going through your phone, and there it is... you stumble upon that number that you acquired the day before and decide to give it a call. Ring Ring Ring no answer, next thing you hear is please leave your message at the sound of the beep.

So the question lies, When you 1st get a woman's number, should one leave a voice message if she doesn't pick up? One can defend this question by saying "leaving a voice message puts the ball in the women's court, by leaving a message if she is interested she will call back", correct? Well not exactly! Thinking in terms of a single woman or just woman in general the road runner and the coyote theatrics is their cup of tea, their nonsexual foreplay in which they all engage in (and quite well might I add). The woman did not want the ball to be in her court, well not yet anyways, hence the reason why she did not approach you, and ask for your number in the first place. Remember you initiated the conversation, you initiated the request for the digits, and you should be the one to initiate the 1st live telephone conversation as well.

Lets take into account one scenario where the woman does not pick up the phone, there could be numerous reasons why she does not the first time, she could be at work, she could be on the line with her girlfriends, or maybe it is just that she does not pick up phone numbers she does not recognize, the list goes on and on. First impressions are everything, well at least that is how the saying goes. Do you want your first conversation with a particular person to be in the form of a voice message? We all know no matter how hard one tries to sound smooth and poised on a voicemail, it never succeeds, your voice sounds funny, you forget to leave your name or number, or your just not quite sure what to say. Why put the ball in her court when the ball so far has been in yours, the power you worked so hard to obtain you just took it and left it on the voicemail. Women crave spuntinuity, outside the box thinking, and most importantly a challenge. I am not one for playing games, but understand it is all about how you play the game! So remember the next time you get that number and just as your about to press the green talk button, Ring..Ring..Ring..and you hear please record your message after the tone In the words of the Late Great Aaliyah "Dust yourself off and try again."

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Confessions of a Professional Dating Procrastinator


Last minute gifts..trust me I am an expert in this category!
First step, don't panic or stress, visualize the situation, and envision exactly how you want the outcome to occur. Now if your married, or have been in a fairly long relationship you might think this doesn't apply, but your absolutely wrong. If this is your first Valentines Day with a person, you want everything to go smoothly, and as planned. Valentines Day was designed to get men to spend money, as well as exploit those who fail to comply. Envision you and your partner at a restaurant in a long line waiting for hours mad you came here, and as brisk as breeze the smooth, young guy passes you up with a reservation for two that just got there. What do you THINK your partners thinking in the back of her mind? So in order to avoid that as well as other major pitfalls follow these instructions precisely. Remember Life is 10% motivation, 90% Preparation. Can't decide where to take your main squeeze for the dinner date? Remember, When thinking elegance in an dinning atmosphere... think scenery! Therefore even if the food, or service isn't up to standards at least there's something to look at, besides your hot date to take your mind off of it.

So by this time you should be searching..searching...searching for a place that has not been completely booked to capacity by all the other overachievers. Here is the solution, call the restaurant and ask them what is the expected wait time, they will respond back an hour or two, cool. Depending on when you want to take your date out plan accordingly, if you want to be eating around 8:30 pm you go to the restaurant at 6:30 pm check in by yourself, the host will tell you its going to be 2 hours, but you already knew that. Within this time frame is your chance to run your errands (i.e. pick up cards, stuffed teddy bears, chocolate, and roses) Go back home and get dressed around 7:15-7:30 pm, the goal is to be leaving her place no later than 8:00 pm, and arriving at the restaurant at 8:15 pm. You guys will arrive at the door with a long line, and she will think damn he didn't get a reservation we're going to be here for awhile. Dont worry, that is exactly what you want her to think!


Cordially walk up to the host/hostess by yourself, and ask has (name) party of two been called, they will say no, that's when you go back and wait with her for awhile playing the dumb role. A couple of minutes should pass and next thing you know you hear "(name) party of two." With a cute, but devious smile you take her hand and walk her to the table, she will be thinking awww he did make reservations how sweet...

Your in there... HAPPY VALENTINES

Friday, February 13, 2009

Do you need some great dating tips? Here, you will find all kinds of tips for those pesky times where you just don't know what to do or where to go. We have all kinds of ideas and tips that will blow you away! One of our first suggestions is to make sure that you bathe or shower. This is, of course very obvious but you would be surprised how many people just don't keep up with their personal hygiene. Smelling great has been scientifically proven to increase your chances of having a successful date. One of the best things you can do to insure your date goes well is to use some kind of attractant cologne or perfume and you’ll notice the results!

Don't forget to make a dating plan and then plan some more! With our help, before you know it, you'll be dating up a storm.

Let's say you have found a person you would really like to go out with, and you are ready to ask that person out on a date. You will immediately have the question, "What are we going to do on our date?"

This question can be particularly tough on the first date because you are trying to make a good first impression and you may or may not know what your partner likes to do. On subsequent dates things tend to get easier. But there are few things more uncomfortable than the conversation that goes like this:

He: "Would you like to go out on a date this weekend?"
She: "I would love to!"
He: "What would you like to do?"
She: "I don't know, what would you like to do?"
He: "I don't know..."

To avoid this little scene, it is helpful to have something in mind when you call!

This site gives you a catalogue of over 50 dating ideas. Use them as a starting point - let these ideas trigger other ideas in your own head. Focus on the ones that sound good to you and go from there.



On to the Planning Stage or on to the Classic Dates!.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

GOT An Issue.. Need Feedback or Advice?

Outside the Box Thinker answers questions from men and women on relationships,
advice, and second opinions. If you have a question and want some feedback, or just
an independent view

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outsidetheboxsa@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Educated Vs The Uneducated in Context to Relationships...

How can a person without a college education challenge their partner who has a college education? Challenge in terms of being debatable, knowledgeable, quick on your toes, and just all around informed about current events, and issues taking place in society. Over an enlightening conversation with a respective colleague of mine, it dawned on me, do people with higher education have a harder time getting a date compared to those that don't?

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Does the perception of a person having a degree scare, or turn off the opposite sex who feels Intimidated based on the Overconfidence a person with a college degree may posses?

Or, is it more about that a person without that higher education not wanting to hear the truth out of outright fear of rejection?

This is the latest trend hitting the dating scene, and I hear it from both men, and women alike.

But the question is How does one narrow this gap?

My response is by first and foremost being yourself, you can not change who you are for a second, the act may last, but consequently it will fail because the stress and pressure will build up to the point of a total collapse. If it does not work then it was not meant to be..take it as that, and move on.

Secondly,
Higher education is not for everyone nor does it measure compatibility with a partner either.. remember that funny feeling you get when your around someone that you truly care for, the way it makes you feel, the pausing heartbeats, and slight moments of breathlessness.. well, at the end of the day it did not matter how many degrees that person had, or how many times they were on the honor roll, at the end of the day it was about how that person made you feel.

Thirdly, from the standpoint of the higher educated person, a non educated, or not as educated person must understand that a higher educated persons way of thinking is far from the norm, little comments and or jokes that may seem entertaining to a friend may not be as appealing to the higher educated woman/man. Their mind frames are programmed completely different, their focus is what they are into, their degree field, their hobbies. Therefore if you want to impress a guy, or girl doing a little research never hurts a situation staying informed of current events in your mates, or hope to be mates interest only equates to better communication, openess, and a sense of your partner wanting to be expressive with you.

Remember, higher educated people love to show off their intelligence, so feed him or her information, let them know you can hang in their relam as well, it gives them a sense of competitiveness... and trust me they love that more than anything else!

Enlighten Your Mind, Stimulate Your Soul